Today I am Thankful for my Personal Growth and Maturity

"I have woven a parachute out of everything broken" --William Stafford


I am a different person today than I was a year ago. I am a very different person today than I was three years ago. Ten years ago? Barely recognizable. I have to say, all this change has definitely been for the better. I'm no longer a child, a girl--I'm a woman,and I feel like I've finally come into my own. It has been said, “The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire.” I've walked through that raging fire, and was hewn sharper, stronger, steadier, humbler, more steadfast, and more faithful than I ever could have imagined. I thought I knew who I was. I saw the world in black and white and from my high horse I made judgments upon those around me. "Oh, I would NEVER do that." "How could she think that way?" etc. Now, I didn't really do that consciously. My standards for myself and for others were ridiculously high. I didn't realize that I was being judgmental or uncompassionate. I saw myself as a tenacious woman with a firm set of principals. Not that there was anything wrong with that per-say, but the farther you build up your own pedestal, the more bones get broken when you misstep and plummet to the earth.

I could have just as easily entitled this post, Today I am Thankful for Trials and Tribulations, because it is those things that make us who we are, but I am thankful today for the very specific trials and tribulations that have forced me to grow and mature and to trust Christ in a way I never had before.

I now know that I have no right to judge others, because there is no way for me to really know what is going on in their lives and in their heads. I have more restraint, and in that restraint have found great freedom. It's harder to forgive than to hold a grudge. It's harder to be care than to be ambivalent. It's harder to be sympathetic than to be judgmental. I've chosen a harder road all around, but the path is lined with such great beauty, that it is completely worth it.

I am so thankful to God for the person he has molded me into. I'm definitely not perfect. I'm just better and happier and freer than I was. And I know he's not done with me yet!